I don’t have your typical run-of-the-mill testimony. It seems that most stories involve some sort of huge revelation for an individual to receive Christ into their life. For me, that wasn’t a hard decision at all. I just needed someone to explain to me that you CAN even give your life to Christ. Unlike most, my story isn’t so devastating before becoming a follower. It happens after.
Growing up, we went to church, I was taught that God loved me and stuff. However, I wasn’t explained the concept of giving your life to Christ until I was 14. I immediately started changing. By the time I was 16, I had weeded out any music that I was disheartening. Lustful thoughts started to fade, and I was well… very joyful.
After I graduated High School, I started dating a girl. After about 9 months. We broke up, because we were too physical. I wasn’t too upset about this though. I moved on pretty well. Then, she got a new boyfriend.
This guy wasn’t even a follower of Christ. It made me so mad. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to just, let her make this choice. I tried to convince her that she was making a mistake. But, she just ignored me. This sent me in to a spiral of depression that I still struggle with to this day.
I finally let my feelings about her go about 4 months later. I got better by being involved with a great group of fellow Christians. Unfortunately, this wasn’t going to last. In the May of 2012, I made the worst mistake of my life. I chose to give up my virginity.
It was a mutual choice to do what this girl and I did. However, she told me and others that I took advantage of her. They believed her. …. I believed her. I believed this lie until about June of 2016. This lie ruined my latest relationship with a girl that was everything I wanted in a wife. But, my emotional instability made the relationship too difficult for her.
During the June of ’16. I sought counseling for the first time in my life. Now, when I say counseling, I mean of a professional. Naturally, I had spoken to many youth leaders, and even my mentor about the incident. This counselor expressed to me, based on my story of the event between me and the girl of 2012, that she, in fact, was the one that took advantage of me.
Why is my story important, you may ask? First off, I believed a lie. Never believe a lie. Especially one like the one I believed. It will tear you apart spiritually. Christ is the ultimate truth. He can and will guide you to the truth, if you pray upon it. Secondly, Forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself. My mentor put it to me brilliantly. We, as humans, can be so harsh on ourselves because “we know better.” Do we really though? And if we do, does that mean anything...really? NO!!! We have to remember that we are capable of sinning. Thus, the reason why we were saved in the first place.
For me, the counselor may have said that I was taken advantage of. I choose to believe that we need to take responsibilities for our actions. Even if we may have been manipulated to do said actions. So, I take responsibility for that mistake. AND, I FORGIVE myself for doing so.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope it helps you with your fellowship with Christ.