November 2012, The 16th year… The First Eviction Notice:
Grief came to visit me and I have never met him before. Grief wasn’t invited. I was caught off guard. I didn’t realize that I would have to make a space for him and that he would stay this long. It seems like there is an unknown expiration date. I am told there is joy at the end of a long dark tunnel, but I’m not sure I can give into grief for long. I am worried that I will.
November 2013, The 17th year… The Passer-by:
Perhaps I don’t meet him all the time. Maybe he was a passer-by that you encounter only once in you life. I thought I would prepare myself this time around, but he doesn’t seem to be on his way. Maybe I will be okay. I wonder if he’ll come by this year...
November 2014, The 18th year… The Next House:
I miss grief, a little. I prepared the table in my heart with a setting for him… He didn’t show, but I was sure he would. It isn’t normal is it? To long, for some little bit of disruption? To set yourself up for his arrival? I feel like I shouldn’t want this, but also that I should… I am confused.
November 2015: The 19th year… The Balancing Act:
I sat down with grief and offered him a drink. He accepted and told me it would be a while until he was ready to leave. The weather, he told me, was dangerous and doomed, and that he’d rather stay a while and talk, like we used to. He said he liked talking with me, because most people try to avoid conversation with him. They put me into a 5 stage box. I guess once they have gone through each stage, I am supposed to bow out. Not you, he said. You recognize that I play a big part too. Grief went on and described his role, and also told me that he isn’t something that happens quickly. There is a time and place. Most people prefer Joy over me. She is warm, fuzzy, and go-lucky. Ive heard most say that joy is something you find and grief is something that happens to you. There is a balance of each in the other. Those people fail to see where I fit into things. Eventually his drink ran out. I offered him another but he said he was ready to go. I asked him if next time he was around to finish his story about the Joy that he found in himself.